Control Your Mood or It Controls You

What matters most in life isn't something anyone bothered to teach you. It's how to stay in a good mood when you have absolutely no reason to be.

Sounds simple. It's not. You're basically a hostage to whatever's happening around you. Good thing happens, you feel good. Bad thing happens, you feel bad. Your mood is just a reaction to circumstances.

And that's exhausting, because life constantly throws stuff at you. If you're just reacting to all of it, you're going to spend a lot of time feeling like shit.

Your interpretation of what happened is what creates the feeling.

Two people go through the exact same situation and feel completely differently about it. One person gets rejected and spirals. Another person gets rejected and thinks "that wasn't the right fit anyway."

Same event. Different interpretation. Different feeling.

You probably know this. But do you actually live like it's true? Or do you still operate like your mood just happens to you?

When something happens, your brain runs a quick calculation: did I gain something or lose something?

Gain means abundance. You feel good. Accomplished. Life is working.

Loss means scarcity. You feel bad. Defeated. Life is against you.

But gain and loss aren't objective. They're interpretations.

You get rejected from a job. Loss, right? Except maybe that job would've been miserable. Maybe it would've locked you into a path you'd regret. Maybe this rejection freed you up to find something better.

Gain or loss? Your choice.

Someone breaks up with you. Obviously a loss. Except maybe you were settling. Maybe that relationship was keeping you from finding someone actually right for you. Maybe you just got your freedom back.

Gain or loss? You decide.

Find something to be grateful for in every situation. Even the bad ones.

This isn't toxic positivity. It's choosing to look for what you gained instead of only focusing on what you lost.

Got fired? Maybe you also got freed from a job you were starting to hate. Maybe you got the push you needed to finally pursue something different. Maybe you gained clarity about what you don't want.

Failed at something you worked hard on? Maybe you learned something you couldn't have learned any other way. Maybe you gained knowledge that'll make your next attempt way better.

There's always something. Even in the worst situations, if you look for what you gained instead of just what you lost, you'll find it.

And when you find it, your mood shifts.

Every time something goes wrong, your default will be to focus on the loss. That's normal.

But you can interrupt that. Pause and ask: what did I gain from this? What's the positive outcome hiding here? Why might this actually be good for me?

At first, it'll feel forced. But over time, it becomes automatic. Your brain starts looking for the gain first. And your mood stops being so dependent on what's happening around you.

You assign the meaning. And the meaning you assign determines how you feel.

So if you're going through something hard right now, ask yourself: what am I gaining from this that I can't see yet?

The situation doesn't have to change for your mood to change. You just have to find the gain.

And with time, the rest fades away.

End of the year? Or time to start something new. 

With beehiiv, this quiet stretch of time can become your biggest advantage. Their platform gives you all the tools you need to make real progress, real fast. 

In just days (or even minutes) you can:

If you’re looking to have a breakthrough year, beehiiv is the place to start. And to help motivate you even more, we’re giving you 30% off for three months with code BIG30.

Start building for 30% off today

See you on the next stair,
Alastair